Thursday, August 2, 2007

More from the Wood County Fair



Shopping cart (top) and stick-pony (above) races have been entertaining the crowds between the races at several of the local fairs this summer. Winners receive a free milkshake, pending the outcome of drug tests administered by the Ohio State Racing Commission.
The following substances have been deemed "performance enhancing" by the World Anti-Doping Agency: French Fries, Elephant Ears, Funnel Cakes, Ribeye Sandwiches (only of the kind obtained at local beef-producers' stands), Sausage Sandwiches (only of the kind obtained at the pork stand), and Lemon Shake-ups (only when "enhanced" by vodka, gin, or rum). Fried cheese curds and deep-fried Twinkies are still permitted, but competitors may only consume eight (8) ounces of fried cheese and two (2) deep-fried Twinkies in the 24 hours prior to competition.

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